Today, more than ever, you see men carrying around a new accessory – the Wingman. He comes in many shapes and sizes, but get one thing straight, he’s gunning for you. The Wingman wasn’t quite as prevalent in previous years, but go out to any club and they will be seen next to every woman.
OK, so what is a Wingman? The Wingman is a friend of a better looking, sometimes more successful guy. They tag around to help their friends pick up women and validate that they are who they say they are. The Wingman is usually not as attractive, not as sophisticated, and definitely not the type of guy you would date. Why is he willing to put himself in this position? Well, without his Wingman status, he won’t have the opportunity to make the same friends and be at the same places, because he doesn’t have the same connections, if he doesn’t.
So, why would the Wingman be next to every woman? Why wouldn’t the main guy be talking to the girl he was interested in? Whether this has transpired because the ‘Main Guy’, we will call him “Scott”, has lost all forms of communication except the sporadic grunt, I’m not sure. But, this new tactic is accelerating at a greater rate than ever before.
Typically both guys will come up to the woman and spark a conversation. The Wingman’s role is to ‘sell’ his friend. ‘Look at how great Scott is! He is the hottest, wealthiest, best guy you will ever meet – an all around all-star!’ Now, because you don’t feel threatened by Mr. Wingman, you may become intrigued, so you listen and begin to fall into their web. Don’t forget, word-of-mouth is much stronger than any person themselves telling you how wonderful they are, right? You think, a great guy, those are hard to come by – who knows maybe this is the last one standing.
Now here’s the catch. The Wingman is a salesman. No different than a used car salesman selling you on the features of a car you aren’t so interested in. If they excel at their role, by the end, the lemon looks more like a Mercedes. The Wingman is probably one of those really nice guys, someone you would be friends with, but NEVER date. He knows this and there is that non-verbal understanding between the two of you. You trust him, thinking that he probably was the kid that was picked on when he was younger, but has a great personality now to make up for it. The softer side of women gets us every time. We let down our walls with the Wingman because they aren’t trying to hit on us. But in reality, it is the Wingman’s role to hit on us for their friend.
We need to think of this situation like our email inbox. When we get unsolicited emails, we get ticked off. We want them to stop spamming us, delete them as quickly as possible and blacklist them from future communication. However, after having an interaction with a ‘brand’, we may choose to participate in a mailing list because we are now interested – i.e. an opt-in list – and actually read the email. Then we don’t have as much friction when the email enters our inbox and often even welcome the email itself.
This is exactly what men have figured out. Women don’t want to get spammed. We get hit on all of the time and just get annoyed – too many unsolicited inquiries. Our walls are up and we will block every guy within a 10 mile radius of us, knowing that they just want to get in our pants. Now, when Mr. Wingman talks to us, we don’t have our walls up. He isn’t spamming us, i.e. hitting on us. As we engage more freely in conversations, we actually like them and participate in a dialogue. No longer are we spammed, we have opted into communication.
The Wingman will stay by your side throughout the night as Scott flows in and out of the conversation, or even the vicinity. The Wingman is usually funny and nice, whereas Scott has little personality and needs the Wingman to carry the conversation. At the end of the night you may be inclined to give Scott your number, or follow him back to his place. This is where you have to take a step back. You haven’t even sat in the car yet, i.e. really spoken with Scott to get to know him. So, don’t take it for a test drive. You don’t even know the guy, except for what the Wingman has said about him. Whether it is the truth or not, err on the side of caution.
It’s a phenomenal tactic that men have figured out. The Wingman doesn’t want to be your friend, but is willing to put in the time and effort to help his friend out. He has one main goal – hype up his friend so much that he gets your number, or better yet, gets your panties off and into bed. But, I see it working more today than ever before. Men are becoming quite subtle with their new tactics for picking women up. I must commend them on their use of a multi-person approach – but we are catching on. A Wingman will never take the place of a real man having the ability to break down a woman’s walls in order to connect in a true conversation based on intelligence, humor and most of all – honesty.
Broken Pickers 