From the time we are little girls we imagine the fantasy relationship every storybook has depicted. Our knight in shining armor will round the corner, our eyes will meet and we will know we have found “the one.” Immediately, we fall in love, get married, have children…and the rest is history.
But do grown women really want the fairytale?
Let’s just say that we actually do meet this so-called ‘Prince Charming’, who thinks that we are the most amazing woman he has ever met. Everything we do is ‘perfect’ to him. Every bat of the eyelash, pick of the nose and sass-mouthed comment is met with a smile and a kiss on the check. Truly, every idiosyncrasy is adored and we can do no wrong to convince him otherwise.
We become the woman on a pedestal. Even the most vicious villain could not bring us down from the clouds he has 
placed us upon. When a bad day enters the arena, Prince Charming just raises his sword and tries to find the easiest resolution to bring that smile onto your fair face. He offers to buy you ice cream, take you to dinner at your favorite restaurant, or to that island you have been dying to visit for the last few months…anything for his queen.
This sounds perfect right?
In the ‘real world’, we are all Looney Tunes, trying to find other characters that appreciate our flaws and help us utilize the tools we have been given to the best of our abilities. When someone thinks we are perfect and tries to put a band aid over every bruise, covering up the issues, it doesn’t work. And yes, as women, there are times that each of us cause our own bad days. Sad, but an inherent truth. Maybe we did something incorrectly at work, resulting in the scene from Office Space where every boss above us has to remind us that we improperly filled out the TPS report. Either way, we have to take accountability for our own actions and errors.
And then, as usual, Prince Charming comes around to save the day. He thinks that we are flawless and could never have faulted to justify this behavior. The result is an inevitable course of action. We will start creating our own obvious faults…subconsciously, of course. We may moan at him for going out for ‘guys night’ and not calling 14 times, even though he called twice like he usually does. On a side note: Don’t call when either of you is out on girls’ or guys’ night, have fun…see each other at the end of the night for some frisky business in bed…you will appreciate the other WAY more!. Or, perhaps you tried the previously mentioned, less jarring route, and it didn’t work. So, you decide to escalate it to the next level and accidentally make out with another guy.
At this point, he could even get upset.
But, since you are on your pedestal, you know that you have the ability to make him see ‘your point of view.’ As you quickly come up with ‘why’ you did this, he begins to believe you and accept it as his own fault. You say that it was because you were insecure the last time he went out and you saw glitter on him…when you know darn well, the last time he was at a strip club was for his 21st birthday. You continue to illustrate how you felt like he was ‘pulling away’ from the relationship…that you did this because you needed to see HIS reaction and that if HE got upset, it really meant HE loved you. Ahhhh, as the story unfolds you see him truly understanding ‘your perspective.’ And, by the time you have concluded the tale, he has taken full responsibility for YOUR inappropriate actions.
As you wipe away the sweat from your brow, and the adrenaline-filled highs leave your body, you realize how terrible it feels. Yet, he took the blame, so shouldn’t you be happy? You got away with something…again. But, when the guilt settles to the bottom of your stomach, you realize one thing…you will continually go through your life with this man putting you on a throne that you don’t deserve and don’t really want the responsibility of retaining.
After some recognition about the situation at hand, you step down from your throne, smile and kiss him on the cheek. In the end, it’s better to dethrone yourself than to have the responsibility of being the kind of perfection another man believes you have. As long as you embrace the idiosyncrasies in the other person and call them out when they deserve it…realizing that those are the words that mean the most…you can build your own chairs, next to one another, that are a lot more comfortable than a throne.
Hmm. Is it true?